TJOAIC 2 – There’s Something Wrong with the Emperor’s Taste! (皇帝口味有问题!)

“So you’re saying the ones who are currently favored the most are Noble Consort¹ Shu, Consort² Rou, and Noble Imperial Concubine³ Yan?” Zhuang Laoyan had eaten and slept well. After learning the personalities of the servants before her, she finally decided to start working on her plan.

“Responding to master, that’s exactly so. His Majesty is also fond of Consort Ning, Zhaorong⁴ Xu and Shuyi⁵ Ye. These three receive a lot of respect because of this. There’s also Consort Xian and Consort Yuan, who have followed the emperor since he was the crown prince. For this reason, they are different from the other imperial concubines. Recently, the emperor spent a night with Jieyu Zhuang, Ronghua⁶ Bai, and Liangyi⁷ Jin.” As the title of Jieyu Zhuang had left her lips, Yunxi studied her master’s expression. Zhuang Laoyan did not so much as frown. Due to this, Yunxi thought her master was definitely more calm than before. She let out a soft sigh she had not known she was holding. Finally, the servants could look forward to their future.　　

To be honest, if it was just appearance, her master was one of the most beautiful in the imperial harem. Her skin was pale and tender, hair as dark as ink, and lashes long and exquisite. If it weren’t for such an impeccable appearance, her master would never have received the emperor’s affection. Unfortunately, her past personality had been too arrogant and not diligent, wasting her good looks. 

Noble Consort Shu and Noble Imperial Concubine Yan had a talent for dancing, Consort Rou was a marvelous singer, Consort Ning excelled at painting, Zhaorong Xu was skilled in poetry, and Shuyi Ye possessed a pleasant attitude. Additionally, Ronghua Bai and Liangyi Jin were gentle and soft in both appearance and demeanor. That the harem’s imperial concubines were skillful was apparent. If any of them lived in the modern age, a lot of men would chase after them. Too bad they were born in the wrong place and time.

Even Jieyu Zhuang, her sister from a different mother and who had spent the night with the emperor twice, was beautiful. No wonder after those two times, Wanyi Zhuang had been pushed into the recesses of the emperor’s mind.　　

For those emperors surrounded by gorgeous women, only possessing beauty would not guarantee favor. Since in the imperial harem, the most dispensable thing was beauty.

As for the two women the emperor fancied the most, Noble Consort Shu and Noble Imperial Concubine Yan, their greatest talent was dancing… A wicked thought suddenly flashed in Zhuang Laoyan’s mind. Those skilled in dancing often had tender bodies and skinny waists. The emperor probably loved these attributes. Because no matter the number of desired traits, for a man, certain attributes were the most important.

Zhuang Laoyan was currently a fifth-rank Wanyi. Therefore, after she removed those who weren’t respectful or loyal, she had a total of three palace maids and eunuchs attending to her. Yunxi and Tingzhu as maidservants, and Fu Bao as the sole eunuch. Fortunately, Taoyu Pavilion did not have any big occasion planned in the near future, and things were still peaceful for now. 

“Currently, I only have the three of you by my side. So if I use someone, that means I trust them. If I don’t use someone, that means I don’t. From now on, we will share weal and woe. If I reach the peak, I won’t leave you lying in the dirt.” Of course, Zhuang Laoyan did not believe that in this world people’s heart could not change. However, she just needed the trio’s loyalty for now, and that would be enough for her purposes. She wouldn’t be stingy with words of morale.

This translation is the property of Sleepchaser at https://sleepchaser.wordpress.com. If you read it anywhere else, it’s stolen

“This slave will follow master until death,” each of them said, as they knelt in front of her. They all hoped that Taoyu Pavilion would one day become the residence of a high-ranking concubine. Once their master received the emperor’s affection, they would also be more respected. They would not be as afraid that other masters would intentionally make things hard for them. 　　

If people wanted to live good lives, they had to learn to adapt to their surroundings. For that reason, whether she was someone who needed to kneel or someone whom others knelt to, Zhuang Laoyan would still stay calm. A person’s circumstance could change in a hairbreadth of a moment.

Having beauty did not guarantee favor, but without beauty, it would be even harder to receive the emperor’s affection. In the imperial harem, although beauty wasn’t the only requirement, it was still a requirement.

Men were creatures of the flesh. Whether they were the emperor or a civilian. Whether they were an impeccable ruler or a muddle-headed and incompetent one.

Thus, Zhuang Laoyan was jumping in joy that she had a gorgeous body. In her previous life, she had thought herself to be quite pretty too, but compared to now, she had been too lacking.

Other than Wanyi Zhuang’s appearance, her skin was soft and tender. Her attitude and manner easily allured men, yet did not make them think she was acting too excessively. Any more, and she would seem vulgar. Any less, and she would seem petty. Yet it was a shame Wanyi Zhuang had been all beauty and no brains. Due to this, the emperor’s fancy eventually slipped through her fingers.

Not a day went by when the imperial harem did not have women that were favored, and women that lost favor. That’s why, in only half a month, the imperial concubines that visited the previously favored Wanyi Zhuang with a smile now lost interest in her. They were even used to not seeing her in public anymore, her name gradually forgotten among their social circles.　　

“Master, the peach blossoms are in bloom outside. Shall we take a look?” Although it was already spring, this March was quite frigid. Tingzhu brought a practically new cloak and draped it over Zhuang Laoyan’s shoulders.　　

Zhuang Laoyan peered out the window and adjusted her cloak. She reached out toward Tingzhu for support. “That sounds good. Since it’s boring to stay inside.”

To the left of  Taoyu Pavilion’s entrance lay a peach forest. Zhuang Laoyan walked to the center of the forest of pink blossoms. She wanted to be like a literati and compose a couple lines of poetry. But no matter how hard she tried to recall, she could only remember these lines: where the person went no one knew; the peach blossoms always laughed at the spring breeze⁸. She regretted not having diligently memorized “The Three Hundred Poems of the Tang Dynasty.”

Because she stood enraptured by the blossoms at the moment, after reciting these two lines of poetry, she still felt it wasn’t enough. But in the end, she shook her head and gave up. She plucked a peach blossom off a low hanging branch and tucked it into her hair. In her previous life, she never dared do such a bold thing. Today she had lived out her younger self’s dream of being a princess.

“Master, these peach blossoms suit you. They seem even more beautiful and tender when used by you,” said Tingzhu. Noticing the extent Zhuang Laoyan happiness, she couldn’t help but say a few words of praise. 　　

“Quickly stop praising me. How could the beauty of the flower compare to that of a normal person like me? I’m just borrowing its beauty to accentuate my own. It’s making me seem a little more comely.” Observing the gorgeous sight before her, she suddenly remembered a modern poem from her past life: to be a woman is not to be a peach blossom; although breathtaking for a moment, when it withers others fail to find it pitiful. 

The poet was literary youth. In Zhuang Laoyan’s opinion, women should not place all of their hopes on a single man. Like flowers, no matter the age, there was no freedom at all. 

This translation is the property of Sleepchaser at https://sleepchaser.wordpress.com. If you read it anywhere else, it’s stolen

“If we were to name the best perk of peach blossoms, it would be that there were peaches in the summer. Sweet and fragrant to the taste,” said Zhuang Laoyan, watching the trees with an expectant gaze. The fruits grown here would not be tainted by any chemicals. The fruits of this age were all first-rate. 

“If master likes them, wait until the peaches are ripe and we will harvest a lot. Wouldn’t it be great if we turned them into dried fruits?” said Tingzhu, carefully supporting Zhuang Laoyan, afraid that she would feel embarrassed if she somehow tripped.

“There’s no need for that. I like to eat peaches for the freshness. If they’re dried, what kind of taste would be left?” said Zhuang Laoyan, shaking her head. She lifted her dress and outstretched a hand to pluck another blossom.　　

Today she wore a white dress with a peach blossom pattern, the ends which spread as she walked. Although it matched the scenery, it was hard to maneuver in. Along the way, some peach blossoms landed on her nape. It felt a bit ticklish.

In the eyes of modern people, the fashion of women in the Chinese Imperial Palace stood as unique and beautiful. The only inadequate aspect was the lack of mobility. However, women always believed a comely appearance was worth the suffering. Zhuang Laoyan was no different, working hard toward her goal. 

The two had a difficult time finding the stone table in the seating area within the peach forest. Before they could even sit down, a gust of wind rolled by. Pink petals fell like rain. If another person stood there, they would describe her as a woman more beautiful than flowers. Zhuang Laoyan currently rubbed at her eyes, rubbing at them until they almost appeared red. Why did the main actresses in TV dramas smile in such petal rain, looking extremely alluring, yet when it was her turn she’d be in such an embarrassing situation, rubbing her eyes as if dust had flown into them? 

“Tingzhu, support me back to the residence.” After rubbing her eyes some more, Zhuang Laoyan felt they were becoming more irritated. She decided that, once she returned inside, she’d wipe them with a damp handkerchief.

She stretched out a hand and waited. However, a long time passed without her feeling any type of support. A frown slid across her lips. “Tingzhu?” Still no response. Zhuang Laoyan opened her less irritated eye. After single glance, she quickly knelt.　　

“This concubine greets the emperor.” Why did he have to appear at such a terrible moment? She had already recited the one famous poem she knew that had anything to do with flowers, and he missed it. It was all over! Now her face was full of wrinkles after all the rubbing. How pretty could she even look right now?

“Rise.” Emperor Chengxuan was not yet thirty. His appearance was suitable as a main male lead of a romance novel. The sole downside: he didn’t resemble romance novel leads in loving only the heroine, even until death.  

“You are…”  Perhaps there were too many women at the emperor’s side, or perhaps since she had changed souls, the emperor did not recognize her. Whatever the reason, Zhuang Laoyan understood one thing: Emperor Chengxuan had already forgotten this Wanyi Zhuang whom he had favored a bit in the past.

If her memory proved correct, this Emperor Chengxuan suited his name: Feng Jin.

This emperor had the best specs. He was handsome, talented, and noble, among other things. Coupled with the fact that every imperial concubine had been hidden away with no male contact until marriage, it made sense that the whole imperial harem would fight over him.

Whether they were jealous or fighting, the ones left laughing were few. However, this did not apply to the emperor. He would have his pick of women his whole life. For this reason, even if he was very handsome and very educated, Zhuang Laoyan swore not to give him her heart.

“Responding to Your Majesty, this concubine is Wanyi Zhuang of the Taoyu Pavilion.” She wanted to smile, but her eyes were too uncomfortable. Instead, a few tears flowed out, increasing her embarrassment.

Emperor Chengxuan stared at the girl before him. So this was Jieyu Zhuang’s little sister. Originally, he saw her only as a woman with a good figure. Unfortunately, after spending the night with her two times, he found her no longer as interesting. And he lost the desire to see her. Today, when he laid eyes on her, he felt she had once more piqued his interest.

“Support your master back to her residence. Attend to her well.” Emperor Chengxuan personally reached out, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes. He was very calm, and did not seem the slightest bit angry or annoyed.

Zhuang Laoyan let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t want to die before she had the chance to put forward her plan.

However, wasn’t there something wrong with this emperor’s brain? Just a bit longer than a month ago, he had favored her. Yet he had forgotten her already?

Come noon, as Zhuang Laoyan ate her lukewarm meal, Qianzheng Palace⁹ bestowed rewards to her.

The amount wasn’t much, merely two crystal peach blossom hairpins and two peach-blossom-patterned palace-tier silk.

As she played with a hairpin, she noticed upon closer inspection the high quality of its craftsmanship. It should be considered a precious item in this time period. That being said, she was used to seeing things made of crystal in her previous life. Therefore, she did not find it as exciting. Rather than that, she was a little curious why the emperor had sent her these things. Could it have something to do with their meeting earlier?　　

Looks like there’s something wrong with the emperor’s taste.

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Edit 5/5/20: Changed all instances of “Ganzheng Palace” to “Qianzheng Palace.” Sorry about the mix up. That was the alternate spelling I think.

So I just wanted to let you guys know, the next chapter will probably take longer than seven days to release, being a side project and all. (I am SO stressed) Also, whenever I use “Wanyi Zhuang” it means I’m referring to the previous owner of the body.

Also, thanks mii for the help with the line about flowers and ages.

If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a like or a comment below, or rate this novel on NU.

Edit: I AM SO EFFIN SORRY! I’ve been spelling Zhuang Laoyan’s name wrong for fifty odd chapters holy crap. It’s Laoyan not Luoyan. Fk… Okay learn from my mistake guys. Don’t ever abbreviate your characters’ names and then copy and paste names from another document. Because if you ever mispelled one name, it’ll be wrong from now on. AHHHH (is having a breakdown) ….I’ll be spending a lot of time fixing the names of past chapters. Please let me hide in a hole now…

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1. Noble Consort: (贵妃) Guìfēi. This rank of imperial concubine is the second highest rank, just under the empress. However, during the Qing dynasty, it is the third highest rank, just under the Empress and the Imperial Noble Consort (皇贵妃; huáng guì fēi). There is a limit of 1-2 Noble Consorts in the harem. Since the author’s mixing and matching imperial concubine ranks from different dynasties, I can’t tell you exactly how high the rank is in this novel, but it is definitely higher than a Wanyi, Jieyu, or Guiji.
2. Consort: (妃) Fēi. This rank of imperial concubine exists in several different imperial Chinese dynasties. Usually, there is a limit of how many of this rank exists in the harem. I can’t tell you exactly how high the rank is in this novel, but it is definitely higher than a Wanyi, Jieyu, or Guiji.
3. Noble Imperial Concubine: (贵嫔) Guì pín. An upper mid-tier rank in the imperial harem. I can’t tell you exactly how high the rank is in this novel, but it is definitely higher than a Wanyi, Jieyu, or Guiji.
4. Zhaorong: (昭容) Zhāo róng. A mid-tier rank in the imperial harem. I can’t tell you exactly how high the rank is in this novel, but it is probably on the same level as a Wanyi and Jieyu, and higher than a Guiji.
5. Shuyi: (淑仪) Shū yí. A mid-tier rank in the imperial harem. I can’t tell you exactly how high the rank is in this novel, but it is probably on the same level as a Wanyi and Jieyu, and higher than a Guiji.
6. Ronghua: (容华) Róng huá. A mid-tier rank in the imperial harem. I can’t tell you exactly how high the rank is in this novel, but it is probably on the same level as a Wanyi and Jieyu, and higher than a Guiji.
7. Liangyi: (良仪) Liáng yí. A mid-tier rank in the imperial harem. I can’t tell you exactly how high the rank is in this novel, but it is probably on the same level as a Wanyi and Jieyu, and higher than a Guiji.
8. where the person went no one knew; the peach blossoms always laughed at the spring breeze: (人面不知何处去，桃花依旧笑春风. I probably butchered trying to write it as a poem in the text. Means “no one knew where the person went, but every year the peach blossoms bloomed”
9. Qianzheng Palace: (乾正宫) Most likely the emperor’s personal palace.