2017 · July · Violant of the Silver

Violant of the Silver Ch 1: The New Knight – Part 3

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Hey guys.

Good news is, my Japanese is improving.

Bad news is, well, I still need to get a LOT better.

This will be the last part of chapter 1. The next release will be part 1 of chapter 2.

Huge love to Mint and Nome for checking over the lines!

As always, please leave a like or a comment below if you enjoyed this. Please leave a rating/review on NU if you’re feeling especially generous.


 

Chapter 1: Part 3

 

He had thought that it was Erik.

When he had first seen a person standing opposite to the window, Vio misunderstood the situation and grew dreadfully frightened.

He had been under the impression that that person had returned to kill him.

Out of reflex, Vio screamed while cowering.

When Lil shakes his shoulder once more, however, he comes to his senses. The predicament is over.

“It is alright now, Mr. Vio. I have brought down that foe with a kick.”

He beams a gentle smile at her violent utterance.

“Eh? Brought down with a kick? What?”

Thinking that he heard wrong, Vio rises from behind the desk. It is precisely as Lil states; he sees a young man collapsed in the garden.

The young man’s physique is well maintained, his hair short and tawny.

Vio is relieved at the sight.

Erik’s hair is a dull shade of blond and when he is compared to this intruder, he is shorter and thinner. They are not the same person.

The trespasser is supine and unconscious; it seems to have been a little while since he fainted.

After groaning an “ugh,” the person lifts the upper half of his body. Blood starts dripping from his nose.

“Are you waking up already after sustaining damage to this degree? You are rather sturdy!”

Lil extends an arm out, shifting into a fighting stance.

Vio is bewildered by the posture of her torso.

“L-Lil? Are you perhaps familiar with martial arts?”

“Yes! Of course. As a maid serving the Lesserhain family, I cannot protect you unless I excel in that aspect.”

She says this during a jump while paying no mind to her skirt, her right leg partway outside of the window frame.

There, Jill pleas loudly for her to halt.

“Stop it, Lil!”

“Mr. Jill? Why should I stop? This person is an intruder, an intruder!”

She jabs a finger toward the young man sitting in the garden, arching her eyebrows. The butler bows his head at his master.

“I am sincerely sorry, young master. That person is Sir Legion Salt.”

“…Eh?”

Astonished, Vio casts another glance toward the man, a poor thing struggling with a nosebleed.


°•°•°


“Thank you for the bath, change of clothes, and other amenities, Mr. Violant.”

At the sound of a knock, Vio shifts his attention from the orange-dyed sky to the door.

Legion Salt, cleansed of the filth from his travels, is changed into neat clothes. He bows his head with reverence.

Thus, with a neat appearance, Legion comes across as being a refreshing and agreeable youth.

He seems to have the fearlessness and honesty unique to a man of the military.

It is an unusual occasion for such a knightly person to be around, with sun-kissed and healthy skin.

A pity that his Siberian hazel¹-colored eyes look quite dangerous, they suit his occupation as a knight on the contrary.

Criminals will surely grow nervous from his threatening glare.

Though he wears a black shirt, it is clear that his muscles are pronounced.

He gives off a manly aura; for his sake, women of marriageable age may cause a fuss, squealing at and lionizing him.

Vio responds to Legion by nodding, inviting him to sit in an ottoman opposite of his hand. Legion’s long legs move with energy while he lowers himself into the chair. As Vio relaxes in the seat with Lil, she watches with a sword in hand.

Similarly, because Jill is on a couch horizontal to his, Vio can tolerate having a knight close by. This is a situation that usually proves hard for him to endure.

“I have heard the story from butler Jill. I apologize for mistaking you as an intruder.”

Because he is responsible for his servant’s error, of labeling Legion as a trespasser, Vio apologizes honestly.

“No, it’s only natural to be vigilant. Therefore, can you please fault me instead of the butler?”

“Am I blaming Jill? I will not behave in such a manner. That is because I have always understood from his conduct his worry for me…Well, I will be troubled if he does it too often, though.”

When he directs his stare at Jill, the butler lowers his head substantially.

“I am sincerely sorry for my impertinent behavior, young master.”

“Yes. Lift your head since I forgive you.”

Vio pardons Jill’s poor tact with a nod, turning around subsequently to examine Legion.

Afterward, from his own mouth, Vio grants a dismissal.

“I believe that both my mother and Jill wish to appoint a new guardian knight to me. However, I do not require one. Oh, do not worry about the salary you have borrowed. Since you have come especially to a remote region, do not fret as it will be granted as your traveling expenses thus far. Besides, certainly it will be difficult to return at once. It is fine to rest in this residence for two to three days.”

“I am thankful for your tolerance and solicitude, Mr. Violant. Despite this, I definitely want to become your guardian knight. Can you please allow me this honor?”

Vio tilts his head slightly.

He thought that Legion’s hopes were for his debts to be written off without a doubt.

Therefore, for the sake of not having future concerns, he declined to talk, with a proposal as an objective. Yet, Legion still proclaimed his desire to be his knight.

“As for my mother, she will not worry because I will talk to her.”

“It’s not like that. I wish to serve you. I have been searching for someone to serve for myself. At last, I have found one!”

Legion declares with a face full of joy, his eyes that are the hue of Siberian hazels glittering and sparkling. Vio scrunches his eyebrows, candid in his actions.

“Legion Salt, you should have heard in the town of Nada—no, from elder brother, father, and everyone in the lord’s manor, the rumors surrounding me. Do you want to serve an ‘incompetent younger brother’ or a ‘dullard’? I was given the rural Leca town because I had been driven from the lord’s manor. I cannot produce a salary of my elder brother’s magnitude, and I cannot leave the residence. As time passes without doing anything, your sword will rust and it will definitely end.”

“Young master.”

He raises his right hand to control Jill’s unintentional interjection.

“Speak no more. Return and enter the Royal Knights’ order without complaining. In any case, my residence will be destroyed for certain.”

“Mr. Violant!”

Lil raises her voice into a scream. Tears spill out in large drops from her red eyes.

“Please do not say such terrible things.”

“Lil, you will also experience the brutality that will soon be inflicted on our home. Currently, no one can interfere with the duke’s family, but eventually heaven will punish us. In that situation, you will be convicted along with me. If you serve as my knight, you will also be involved.”

Legion watches with surprise in his eyes.

“For a thing like conviction, where do your errors lie? In my view, the people of Leca town are calm and your servants adore you. Excuse me, here doesn’t seem like Lesserhain territory to me. In short, that is my response.”

“So. Do the entirety of the townsfolk live calmly? Because I cannot leave the residence, I have not seen such a sight. I seem to have selected a good inspector.”

Vio smiles from the unexpected good news at hand.

The current Vio holds a position similar to Leca town’s town mayor. Thus, he selected an inspector for the tax bureau, overall town management, and state of affairs at Amade village, which belongs to Leca town. He hired a hardworking man with a wide face, but he appeared to have good judgment.

Aside from that, since this town did not have any specialty products, he set his sights on Leca’s flowers, which contained a lot of magical power. Then he attempted to sell a form of them as ink for creating magic circles. Moreover, he made candies for magic power replenishment from the flowers.

That profits have risen gradually is a recent occurrence. Since taxes have decreased as well, people in the village and town are working hard.

“You are a splendid ruler. What’s strange about my desire to serve and believe in a person like you?”

“No, I am not speaking ill of your intention.  Mind you, I cherish this town because it is mine, but that is it. The next lord will be my elder brother. As I cannot leave here, I cannot do anything. The crimes of one’s family that one cannot stop are also one’s own.”

“It cannot be helped if you are ill. God will surely understand!”

Vio breathes a sigh.

“You are a stubborn individual. Anyway, I do not require a guardian knight. Please refrain from wearing a sword during your stay here. I rather not see one.”

Vio, who gives up on the conversation, says this unilaterally and rises from his seat.

“Lil, please bring my meal to my room.”

“Understood.”

Nodding to Jill, who bows reverentially, he turns toward the door.

“I won’t give up, Mr. Violant. Um, please call me Legi.” 

“…Legi?”

Wondering if he should ignore that, Vio stops his foot in an instant and turns around.

“Yes!”

Legion responds by giving a broad and happy smile. No, Vio did not mean to call out to him in this way. He looks as delighted as a dog.

(Legi, I have heard of that name before. It comes from ‘Princess Dances with the Night.’ He is an absurdly strong knight. That is correct; he serves elder brother Rupheus but is treated in a harsh manner. Then he is headhunted by the hero’s knight, becoming comrades with them.)

Unbelievable. He has a pretty good supporting role in “Princess Dances with the Night.” Vio did not realize this until he had uttered the nickname.

“Hehe. So, Legi, is it? You should depart from here to the neighboring country of Ruslan. Because the succeeding queen is a wonderful person bursting with talent, she will treat you well undoubtedly.”

“You jest. I wish to serve Mr. Violant!”

Vio waves his right hand as he steps out of the room.

(Elder brother, you are even more selfish compared to the version in the comic…Although Legion is supposed to be a key figure within the story, you have already dismissed him.)

Vio experiences a sort of admiration in a curious way.

 


 

Ending notes: Legion really wants to be Vio’s guardian knight AND he gave himself  a NICKNAME that he wants Vio to call him. LEGI!!!!

Also, I’m tired. There’s plenty of blue text because my Japanese is simply not advanced enough to understand everything being written. The last two blue lines I just grasped at straws.

If someone has pity to spare…

Siberian hazel¹: Corylus heterophylla.

Here are two questions for you guys:

  1. When does preserving the literal translation trump maintaining fine English grammar, and should it ever?
  2.  When is it okay to be liberal in translating, if ever?

 

 

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30 thoughts on “Violant of the Silver Ch 1: The New Knight – Part 3

  1. 構えを取る
    >> literally translated as taking a stand, probably ‘getting into the fighting stance’ is better?

    はしばみ色の目元がきつそうに見えるくらいがパッと見た欠点で、それも騎士という職ならむしろ適しているだろう
    >> It’s a pity that his eyes looks quite dangerous, but it seems to suit his job as a knight
    (I am taking liberty to suits the sentence better)

    まあ、あまり勝手をされると困るけどね
    >> well, I’ll be troubled if he does it too often though

    レジって、聞き覚えがあるぞ
    >> Legi, I’ve heard about it before
    >> Legi sounds familiar in my ears

    ヴィオはひらひらと右手を振ると、部屋を後にした
    >> Vio waved his right hand, as he stepping out of the room

    兄上、漫画より酷い我が儘ぶりなんだなあ
    >> older brother, you are even more selfish compared to the manga version.
    (He is comparing his current brother to the manga version)

    変な方向から感心してしまうヴィオだった
    >> Vio is having some kind of admiration in a weird way

    For the rest blue ones, I am not sure cos each word can be translated differently based on the full sentence so I will skip on them. Please bare in mind that I am not fluent in jap 😂

    Thanks as always~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you SO much ;_; You’ve helped a lot! ❤

      Yeah the rest of the blue lines I'll just keep them blue for 3 more days. If I don't get any other translation fixes I'll just put an asterisk next to them like a disclaimer

      Like

  2. Thank you for the update!!
    LoL, my image for Legion has crumbled.. He’s not a proud wolf, but a friendly golden retriever..
    One of the supporting character is already infatuated with Vio, I hope Vio won’t really dismiss him.

    Like

  3. Maintaining proper grammar should always trump “”literal”” translations. You shouldn’t worry about sentence structure being identical to how it is in its original language, because something that sounds beautiful and poetic in Japanese may sound stilted and abrupt in English. I think liberal translations are fine.
    For example, your sentence “He gives off a manly aura; for his sake, women of marriageable age may cause a fuss, squealing at and lionizing him.” might better be translated as “He gave off a manly aura; the kind that many young women would surely make a fuss over.” Or their are other translations that, while they don’t maintain the exact words of the original, they better maintain the spirit and flow much better in English.
    Also, with “Lil extends and arm out, taking preparation. (構えを取る)”, taking preparation should be “preparing herself” as in preparing herself to attack.

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    1. Oh my, for some reason wordpress decided to mark your comment as spam. That’s why it took me so long to reply. Sorry!

      Yeah, I’m on that boat as well. I just wanted to get a better impression of what the audience thinks ^^

      Also, I wasn’t aware that you could join a dependent clause with an independent clause by using a semicolon. I don’t claim to have an English major, but I was under the impression that a semicolon could only be used to join two independent clauses?

      The “taking preparation” part was bad translation on my part XD. I have changed it to reflect what a reader with a better grasp on the Japanese language has said 😀

      Thank you for reading and joining the discussion!

      Like

  4. Thank you for the update~
    I vote for ‘understood’~

    for your questions,, for me, it relies heavily on ‘feeling’? like, when a sentence doesn’t make sense if you were to translate it as is, you need some kinds of improvisation, the goal of a translation is to get the meaning across, if it could get across just by literal translation, it’s the best, but I think it would be a waste of a translation if you were to insist on literal translation, but couldn’t get the meaning across.. so… maybe, liberal or improvised translation is for if just a literal translation couldn’t get the meaning across? on the contrary, by relying heavily on liberal translation, would often miss the deep meaning actually hidden in the sentence.. So, it’s ‘feeling’, sorry, I couldn’t be more concrete *fly away*

    ・まともそう –> it’s like “it’s rare to have someone so ‘knight-like’ around, まともそうな人間 means a human that is ‘human’, so in this case, it’s a knight so ‘knight’-like, therefore, i think ‘upright’ isn’t that far from this meaning
    ・ちら –> it’s like some kinds of sound effect (not exactly ‘sound’ though) when someone glare at the other, it’s an expression when at one second a person were focusing his sight on something, then in the next second, ちら he turned his sight on the other, usually implied, ‘a glare’ with some kinds of meaning. in this sentence, it’s “when vio glared/turned his sight on Jill, he deeply bowed his head”
    ・滅びるだろうし –> 滅びる+だろう+し, it will crumbled/destroyed + (assumption expression) + anyway/either way, so I think the translation’s fine as is
    ・You seem to have selected a good inspector. –> not in the blue text tho, Vio’s talking about how it seems he selected a good inspector. at this stage, Legion hasn’t been involved in anything about Leca. because Vio was able to selected a good inspector, the steps, things he judged only based on this inspector’s report, doesn’t seem to be wrong. here implied he was actually uneasy, unsure if things he judged just based on reports were correct decisions at all, so he was relieved when he heard the actual condition from the third party (legion)
    ・他にも、これといった特産品が無かったので、魔力を多く含むレカの花に目を付けて、魔法陣用のインクや魔力補給用に飴を作らせて売らせてみたりしていた –> aside from that, since (this town) didn’t have any specialty products, he set his sights on Leca flower which contains a lot of magical power, then tried to sell it as inks for creating magic circles or made it into candies for magic power replenishment. if it ever hang on your mind, これといった特商品 is actually composed like this : これだ!といった商品–> a product that makes people scream ‘this is it!’, in other words, e.g., “when people talk about Turkey, it’s the ice cream!” kinds of thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ughh thank you so much. You’re a life saver. Thank you for the detailed explanations especially!. It really helps me understand. ^^

      I also believe that keeping the literal translation isn’t as important as keeping meaning, but then again I could be just speaking from a bias XD

      Like

  5. Japanese novels have such interesting english names for their characters …. I tried reading readingthe raws but I soon remembered why I don’t read the raws. I’m absolutely terrible at making heads or tails out of the machine translations. So I’ll be depending on you sleep chaser sama. Please treat me well. Thank you for the chapter :*

    Like

  6. so cute. vio is such a gentle/wise/kind person, and is legi already smitten by him? haha

    i dont quite get this part:
    “Elder brother, you are even more selfish compared to the version in the comic…Although Legion is supposed to be a key figure within the story, I have already dismissed him”

    – the continuity is weird and confusing. first he’s talking about his brother being selfish but then dropped that completely and switched to himself dismissing legi? i don’t get why he mentioned his brother in this context

    as for your questions, i think getting the meaning across is more important, so allowances should be made for that. but the writing style should be preserved since it’s a mark of the author, so it’s not good to be too liberal either.

    Like

    1. Sorry if I am being rude for cutting in cough. Just wanted to clarify. I took a glance at the raw and it said

      兄上、漫画より酷い我が儘ぶりなんだなあ……。レジオン殿は物語の要の人間のはずなのに、すでにクビにしてるとか

      Elder brother is even more selfish compared to the manga version. Even though Legion-dono is a key/important person in the story, to have dismissed his service….

      I can’t make the sentence flows nicely but roughly he was wondering why his bro fired legion even tho he is one of the key character^^

      Like

      1. May I join the discussion? the flow is,, the brother was selfish even compared to manga version, it wasn’t mentioned in this chapter why he fired him. So, Vio was having a difficulty in understanding why would his brother fired a character ‘excellent’ enough to be an important supporting character in the manga, I’m kinda weak in putting it into a flowing sentence, but the meaning was like that

        Like

  7. Since you’re using Google, I think grammar is more important. It’s fine to be liberal as long as the tone and the content is preserved. Sorry if that’s not really helpful. It’s easier said then done right?😅

    I’ve tried out a few series that were picked up by ppl who didn’t seem to really know what they were doing. If it’s just small typos, grammar, or punctuation errors, I could look past it, but there was one tl… It was just a mess. At first I could still guess what generally happened per chapter, but if there was a scene with 2+ characters they’d butcher the pronouns. I think they would match the characters to the wrong actions or dialogue, so there were things that broke character or context. They would always change POVs unannounced only to switch back after like 2 sentences. ALL the dialogue was in 😒Jingrish. I wasn’t sure if I was reading pure MTL or if they edited it to be more confusing. There was 0 disclosure of the TL’ing process but there were a few phrases that looked like something Google or Microsoft TL would say. At some point my attachment to the MC and the story just wore off. The group took months to release 1 incomprehensible chapter of typo-ridden, grammarless gibberish. It just wasn’t enjoyable anymore. When I tried approaching them about some of the problems I noticed, they seemed pretty confident and not too open to advice. I stopped reading their TLs. Their mobile site was so ad-ridden it was unusable from all the redirects anyways, and the group would still beg for donations.😑

    Sorry for the rant, the 2 questions @ the end just reminded me of that. Your edited MTL is legible and you have a helpful following (well, mostly just Nome, haha). You’ve got a good system, there’s not too much you have to change. I’m having fun reading all 3 projects. I think “Violant of the Silver” ur best yet. Probably due to the lack of slang terms and culture references. Let’s hope they don’t get too complex with the spellcrafting and political stuff.

    Like

    1. Haha yeah I like Violent best too because there’s no slang XD

      Slang is a nightmare for beginners in Japanese. I’m really happy that I tried translating. Even though I still refer to the Google translations to “check” my own, I feel like I am slowly moving away from using it. I started with mostly machine translations in the first arc of Villain Days, but now I’m actually cracking open my dusty textbooks and learning haha. Of course I have a long way to go. Maybe one day I can do this fluently. That would be a dream come true.

      Whoops, now I ranted XD

      Like

      1. Wow, that’s really impressive. Now that you mention it, there has been noticable improvement since arc1 of Villain Days. Thanks for all the effort you put into these releases!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for the chapter! Regarding staying true to the Japanese, since grammar in Japanese and English have some very significant differences, it really is necessary to reword or even rewrite parts for the translation to make sense. I find translations that try to stay extremely close to the literal translation to be hard to read because of missing pronouns or nouns, incorrect or inconsistent use of verb tense, poor punctuation, and weird sentence structure, to name a few grammar problems. I know that if one translates from French into English, unless it is necessary to preserves the “Frenchness”, even slang and idioms that make sense in French but not English will often be converted to slang and idioms that essentially mean the same in English. I hope this is helpful, and thank you for your hard work!

    Like

    1. Thank you for joining the conversation. I agree with what you said. Different languages have their own type of correct grammar that, if translated directly to a different lannguage using the grammar conventions of the latter, would sound strange. An example is Chinese. Though I can only speak/listen to it, I can tell this: let’s say the sentence in question is “What are you doing”? If you translate LITERALLY, word by word, from Chinese, it becomes “You are doing what”? Still the same meaning but written very differently.

      Like

  9. Thanks for this new update. Actually I’ve yet to start reading this story (past part 1 of chap 1) because I’m waiting to pile up some more parts/chapter to have a better grasp of the plot and the characters 😊

    Like

    1. Hehe binge reading is the best. Also, You get the added perk of reading a more accurate translation, since many times my guardian angels will help look over a few lines in blue that I could not understand.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you so much for your hard work! 😀 I love how insistent Legion is to work for Vio, and how casually Vio brushes him off. I wonder how Legion is gonna wear him down…XD

    Like

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